by Janine Bloomfield, Ph.D.
As parents, we try to remind our children to be grateful for what they have but it can sometimes be a hard sell. Applying mindfulness to gratitude can help change the experience from one of ‘shoulds’ as in ‘I should feel grateful for what I have’ into a more direct experience of satisfaction and happiness. By taking out the judgment aspect from our experience and simply noticing it we can more clearly feel the genuine happiness that comes from having good things in our lives.
Here is a way to experience gratitude with your family more directly, through mindfulness.
- Categories. Think about different categories that one can be grateful for. For example, people, things in nature, food, shelter, and little things.
- Examples. Make a list of examples from each category. Family members, friends, pets, sunshine, water, our teachers and even a smile are often mentioned.
- Visualize. Now, take a minute to experience what gratefulness feels like by imagining something you or your child feel grateful for right now, in this very moment. It is OK to share what you are feeling grateful for if you want to but it is not necessary. Be sure to use all five senses to not only see but hear, touch, smell and feel the thing you are feeling grateful for.
- Mindfulness. Close your eyes and sit with the image for at least a minute using the technique of mindfulness. If thoughts, emotions, or distractions arise in your mind, observe them without judgment and then return to the focus on the visualization. Try to notice any feelings that may arise in your body as you sit.
- Reflect. Sometimes we are able to feel a tingling, floating feeling or even warmth in our bodies in general or heart specifically. If you or your child feel suddenly happy or just have to smile, notice it. This can be a great motivator to remember to practice gratitude mindfulness again.
- Science. There is physiological evidence that when we feel grateful, we literally feel better in our bodies due to release of neurochemicals including dopamine that mediate feelings of relaxation and happiness. Our heart rate slows, blood pressure lowers and we just feel happy. Dr Robert Emmons at the University of California, Davis is a leader in the fairly new field of positive psychology and a prominent researcher of the benefits of gratitude. In studies, making a daily list or keeping a gratitude journal has been shown to lead to higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy. Check out the Gratitude Project put together by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center for lots more information on the benefits of gratitude as well as active research and education initiatives.
Experiencing gratitude is another tool we can use to give ourselves a little boost in the midst of all our collective craziness. Try mindfully experiencing gratitude with your child, it’s a simple way to bring a smile to a busy day.
Some material for this activity has been adapted from the MindUp and Mindful Schools curricula.
Feedback from students is that they are using mindfulness to help focus on homework, calming down when dealing with annoying siblings or parents, and just enjoying everyday parts of life a bit more. Mindful hand washing has been particularly popular in some 3rd grade classrooms with some kids finding it a quite relaxing activity (with the side benefit of particularly clean hands!). Taking the time to really feel the softness of the soap on the skin or hear the sound of the water – one child compared it to the sound of a waterfall – can turn a sometimes boring and usually routine act into something like a work of art.